At 36 weeks pregnant I decided to stop going to the gym altogether. Despite always being very mindful of the exercise and intensity I was choosing throughout pregnancy, in my final month I felt an urge to drop the yang input entirely, to keep the heart-rate and breathing gentle and to drop into a much more yin frequency. Although I'd been careful to include plenty of mobility and stretching throughout, and I've discussed that I've been swimming and doing yoga, I decided to take on a different kind of training to prepare myself for the birth, from a mind-body perspective.
The Mind-Body Connection
A while ago I learnt a valuable lesson about the mind-body connection. When I was 7 weeks pregnant a rather large cyst was found on my left ovary 8.5cm across. Despite some general gripey aches and pains of early pregnancy, I hadn't had too many symptoms directly from the cyst that I can pinpoint exactly. That was until I was made aware of it. I had a few gynae appointments and began to google the worst-case outcomes and hey-presto the pain began to escalate. In the space of a month, I was beginning to wake at night with discomfort and by the time I attended my follow-up appointment the pain was unbearable. I was advised to have surgery at 16 weeks pregnant. They would attempt to do keyhole but if they couldn't manage it they would need to perform a full laparotomy (open abdominal surgery). Either way it meant an invasive surgery and general anaesthesia, which although considered 'safe,' posed an increased risk to my growing baby.
The anxiety was crippling. I'm not sure what made me take a step back from the escalating situation, but something in me snapped. I was sick of listening passively to medical advice and to rarer more frightening cases. I wanted to understand the facts and come to terms with what was happening inside of me for myself, to see if I could listen to what my body was telling me and make a balanced decision without the noise of modern medicine drowning it out. So, I spoke to a few specialist friends, cancelled the surgery and all follow-up appointments in what seemed like a rather radical act of rebellion. Instead, I focussed on beginning to meditate, to visualise getting better positively rather than catastrophising, and to tune in to my body more instinctively. The pain began to reduce. I began to forget about it. And would you believe that on my 20 week scan the cyst measured 3cm?
Now there is always a place for serendipity, but my situation serves as a good example of the mind-body connection. The mind-body connection is undeniably real, it's not hippie or wacko, and for those of you who - like me - need proof, it's a scientific fact. It's a growing realisation that it's not possible to separate the mind from the body. One only needs to look at the physical response to a sympathetic change in the autonomic nervous system, that 'fight or flight' response to a stressor, to recognise the common responses: increased rate of breathing and heart-rate, restlessness, sweating, muscle tension. If we know we can illicit such powerful physical responses with somewhat inert catalysts - and we know we cansuch as supermarket and traffic frustrations, deadlines and meetings, then we also know that a stimulus does not need to be life-threatening to evoke similar designed to be life-saving physiological responses by the body. And it is also a known neural response that any regular state that is reinforced time and time again, becomes a learnt pathway, habitualised and strengthened. In the case of those anxiety, fear or pain-states, this neural feedback loop can make them more responsive, readily accessible and hypersensitive over time. We really do create our own reality. It's not just free-spirit talk.
For some of you this won't be rocket-science, but there is some value in putting this knowledge at the forefront of one's attention.
Why?
💥1. To apply it. Our bodies have the capacity to function optimally and even beat or evade chronic diseases, gastric problems, circulation problems, insomnia and depression when not in a state of 'fear.' And this doesn't necessarily mean frontal-brain fear: goodness this insomnia really is terrifying! No, for the most part I refer to the aforementioned 'flight/fight' state or subconsciously-generated fear state.
And;
💥 2. Because people tend to use fear and discomfort as a general motivator for lifestyle changes and decisions.
What's this got to do with training in pregnancy? It's something I've been applying to a long-standing fear of birth. I, like the majority of my peers, have always been apprehensive of this moment. It's hard to avoid the mountain of women who are eager to share their birth horror story. It's hard to avoid an association of birth with illness or injury when the majority of modern births take place in hospitals overseen by doctors and often medicines. Western society has medicalised and catastrophised this right-of-passage for women to such a degree that it's very rare to find a women who is heading towards birth with no ounce of apprehension. How then, does this affect our body's response, to an otherwise very natural process? Well it's fight or flight - fight and tense up, scream loudly, pace, grit ones teeth and bear it, or flight - dampen or remove the pain with the use of analgesia.
Your Body Knows How
My goodness I'd be a saint if I said the idea of a little numbing during the height of labour doesn't sound appealing. I also know that the surges - pain if you will - and hormones of a natural labour will actually serve towards a more successful outcome. It is scientific fact that medicines suppress the natural production of oxytocin, the hormone of a labouring woman, and there can be significant consequences on the progress of labour, often making it a lengthier affair when playing with our natural hormonal balance during birth. Birth is a natural and subconscious process, it's animal and instinctive, the body knows how. Women in comas have been known to birth very naturally, how crazy is that.
Doesn't this sound like fear-mongering but with the glove on the opposite hand? I need to balance this a little. I honour medical intervention and it's place in more complicated pregnancies and births. Modern medicine has saved many women's and babies' lives, and has made birthing in more complex circumstances possible. In the above I refer to low-risk pregnancies and natural onset of labour. I'm not fighting a natural-birth corner here, nor judging any woman who choses a medical pathway - complex pregnancy or not. I'm fighting a corner to heighten awareness that despite modern medicalisation, we as women still for the most part have a choice, and more choice than we think. Birth doesn't need to be terrifying. And my intention is to try to empower and excite women about what their bodies are actually naturally capable of. And if things don't end up how we plan or hope, that it's possible to continue to trust our bodies through those processes too, and keep a relaxed state of mind throughout.
Let's not get any heavier into this - its a huge topic in it's own right. But here's the thing. I've been attempting to train the mind, to be less fearful as birth approaches. I'm beginning to learn to trust that birthing is an incredibly natural process and that my body knows exactly how to do it, without my need, or anyone else for that matter, to tell it what to do.
How?
Regular practice (training if you will) in:
💥1. Reading/educating myself on natural, gentle birth;
Knowledge really is the doorway to reducing fear and anxiety, by applying a rational mind and arming oneself with real factual, not sensationalist, information. This does have a real and direct correlation on my ability to rationally decision-make.
💥2. Mindfulness;
💥3. Daily meditation;
💥4. Controlled breathing practice;
I grouped these together as they have similar effects. To ground myself in the present, and to tame fight/flight/catastrophising behaviours. These practices also have a calming effect, really reduce anxiety and personally reduced my perception of pain and uncomfortable situations.
💥4. Positive affirmations and visualisation
This one is little like NLP (neurolinguistic programming) if anyone's ever done that. It's about re-training the brain's learnt habits and neural pathways which have become 'normal' patterns of thinking.
All of the above has helped me to achieve a state of knowledge and understanding, deep relaxation and acceptance. I feel as ready as I can possibly be for what's up ahead. What's lovely is the side-effect of all of this is that it's affected the rest of my life too: I've seen improvements in trust and communication in my relationships - with my partner, the people around me, and also my body. Pink and fluffy isn't it. Whether you think this is wacko or not, I think there's a lot to be said for that.
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