Beginning Again - 0 to 2 Months Postpartum

From the moment a woman gives birth for the first time she's a different person. Completely transformed. It's that immediate. I quite literally am not the person I was before and that's something I didn't quite appreciate before becoming a mama. It's a linear journey, which to all intents and purposes means there's absolutely no going back. Especially when it comes to the body. Before our son arrived, I believed that I would give birth, ride out some tricky post-partum months and then get back to where I was. I was completely and utterly mistaken. Yet again, I'd been sucked in by the shiny instagram accounts of mummies who 'got their body back' and who were back in the gym at two weeks, flat-tummied side-profile selfies at four weeks, the ripped and shredded demi-godesses who compete at six months' post-partum and use hashtags that say 'motivation' 'fitspo' and 'pprecovery.' (I am absolutely going to use those hashtags for this post, to dilute the shine)!  Perhaps it really is glowy and easy for a few, but actually... I highly doubt it. I had just about enough realism to not expect this of myself and manage my expectations but I also was curious to see how my post-partum body would look and feel and move. So I guess this is where the blog evolves to the post-partum movement and training journey. I intend to just say it as it is, as I've done before, in attempt to capture the rawness of it all. Because it's not shiny and glossy at all, it really is very challenging. But it's so beautiful, this evolution, and I'd love it if more mamas talked about how it really is. Don't get me wrong I'm not trying to be neggy - I'm trying to be real. It's stuff I wish I'd read more of on the run-up to becoming a mama myself.

Weeks 1-4

I had a caesarian delivery, so as per protocol, return to movement and exercise was a bit stricter than had I had a normal vaginal delivery. They say six weeks, but it's funny because on my six week check at my GP she asked me how exercise was going and how I was feeling. I really do think no one really knows, and frighteningly as with my GP, not everyone cares. It's not always someone else's responsibility to tell you when you're set, especially if you look relatively sane, can talk about your recovery using some medical lingo and seem to be walking around ok - GP can just wave the Go flag.

Anyway, for the first four or five weeks my main limiter was tiredness and discomfort from the open surgery. It's major stuff and apparently they go through 5 layers of tissue. The first movement I did was the day after surgery when they ask you to waddle to the loo and try a wee. You then diligently do your ankle pump exercises and float around walking slowly and gently trying to avoid any jerky movements for, realistically, one to three weeks. Getting up and down stairs, in and out of the car, turning in bed all take time - time I was willing to give. I would gingerly shower and dress, on good days (!), careful of the sensitive incision site but also of my mangled nipples. Pat-pat dry the scar, pat-pat dry the nipples, float to the couch, and attempt to sit carefully, before cute little bubba chows down on those poor nips once again. That's really how I remember the first few weeks... a haze of hormones - an emotional roller coaster getting to grips with the enormity of what's just happened. Mixed in with new-mum anxiety, colossal tiredness, self-doubt and concerns about how one is meant to function with this new identity - how to eat, poop, make conversation, sleep, concentrate on anything. Safe to say, exercising in this fragile period was the least of my concerns.

And what was even more upsetting was looking at myself in the mirror. Despite being quite a self-confessed headstrong and confident woman, I had some serious (and still do at ten weeks post-partum) body image issues. No matter what anyone tells you, the body doesn't 'bounce back'... unless you're 18, had a tiny baby weighing less than 3kg and are a unicorn. Frankly, the pooch - as I've affectionately named my belly - is very large indeed for the first few weeks. Keep those pre-pregnancy jeans well and truly locked away. It's not fat, well not all of it anyway. It's stretched and swollen tissue, along with separated abdominals. Mmm yummy. Yep some lucky ladies do flatten out fairly quickly, but I have it on good advice that on average this pooch can hang around for as long at 6 months on average and it's very normal for it to linger longer term, depending on many many factors. And those unicorns? Their skin will still be saggier. Every woman will be fighting a demon or two. We're all in this.

Weeks 5-6

So what movement and exercise have I been doing? I started gently exercising again at week five. By gentle exercise I mean on the floor in front of the TV, table-top and supine position-pilates work and pelvic floor exercises only. I've been focussing on isometric and transabdominal activation mainly, to generate the correct tension to help regain my control in that area, as I have persistent diastasis recti. I began reading more Diane Lee, and following Brianna Battles eight-week post-partum programme which was a good starting point, and has a lovely focus on "'intention now for intensity later." I really like that. It's so tempting to want to start moving through the reps to feel that comforting muscular fatigue, the warming of the body, the quickening of the pulse... Brianna's ethos says time and time again to respect the body in learning again from scratch. As a result I've been doing a lot of breathing control, isometric and stability work.

Weeks 7-8

I went for my first proper swim at week seven, in that lovely 50m outdoor pool I waxed-lyrical about whilst pregnant. I also sat on the exercise bike and did some intervals, picked up my first kettlebells as a farmers carry (8kg in each hand), began introducing simple compound movements like body-weight squats, wall push-ups and lunges, and I saw my women's health physio.

Visiting the women's health physio was absolutely paramount in deciding what to do next with my post-partum journey and I can't emphasise enough how important seeing a women's health physio is for everyone who has been pregnant and given birth no matter what their method of delivery. As a result of this, and with some clear advice on continued pelvic floor exercises and focus on control above all else, I was given the green light to begin more active exercise, with intention. After some very gentle jump training at home, in week eight I went on my first very gentle jog, and introduced very light weight to my compound exercises.

Weeks 9-10

Since then, I've enjoyed a more structured programme: one sweaty cardio piece (approx 40 mins mixed modal cardio piece) and two more varied sessions with accessories (those pilates and trans-abs movements) compound movements and more blowy CrossFit 'style' workouts with light weights (under 15kg a piece). Notice 'style.' I'm not doing CrossFit yet and haven't done any Olympic weights, everything is either very light barbell squats or dumbell/kettlebell work. And I've really focussed on work that activates my trans-abs as I still have a diastasis of about 2cm. It's great to sweat again but I'm mindful of HOW my body is moving as the first priority. This is going to be an ultra-marathon, no sprinting here.

That pooch, though...

I admit to examining my figure more regularly than I like. I'll also admit to taking weekly side-profile selfies and not liking what I see looking back on them. I've even found myself searching hashtags of bellies post c-section at two, three, four weeks post-partum. Yep, I'm just a normal chick with her own insecurities. But I have given up the googling now, and as a result I feel much better about myself and I've attempted more positive self-chat, invested in some nice new undies and embracing high waisted leggings for now. There's a growing part of me that's extremely proud of The Pooch, for all that it did, and how incredible the female body is at creating a complete miracle.

Programming

I've really been enjoying Brianna's programme and think there's a real place for resources like these for new mamas - guidance that's no nonsense, practical and respectful for the body. Encouraging women to move carefully and with intention, to build a foundation from the bottom up, rather than simply jumping back to the gym at week six with no agenda. I've been programming for myself alongside her programme as a guide and have really enjoyed it.

I actually have an intention to write a post-partum programme of my own. I'd be very interested to know if anyone would be interested in seeing a programme like this later down the line, and what your biggest concerns or queries may be with returning to exercise after giving birth. Hit me up.